Show, don't tell: write a character's reaction through detail

Showing lets the reader infer a feeling or situation through actions, speech and specific details. Telling states or summarises it directly. Use both: develop important moments and summarise less important transitions.

Before you start

'Mia was nervous' gives the reader information. Showing might let the reader notice Mia checking the door, gripping her notes or losing her place. The detail makes the moment more immediate because the reader sees what happens.

The advice does not mean every emotion needs a paragraph of description. A short narrative needs movement as well as detail. Choose a moment worth slowing down, then use summary to move between the important scenes.

Step by step

  1. Choose the moment to develop

    Look for a decision, discovery or reaction that changes the story. Focus your detail there. The character's whole walk to school may fit in one sentence, while the moment they admit a mistake may need several.

  2. Select an observable clue

    Ask what the character does, says or notices. Choose a detail linked to this particular situation. Instead of giving every frightened character shaking hands, consider what this person is trying to hide or protect.

  3. Let the detail carry meaning

    After describing the clue, check whether you need to name the emotion as well. If the action already makes it clear, repeating the label may add little. If the meaning is ambiguous, a brief thought or context can help.

  4. Keep the scene moving

    End the detail with an action or consequence. Description should help the reader understand what happens next. Use summary for routine events so an important scene does not get buried under equally detailed transitions.

Original revisions: before a class presentation

These options show different ways to develop a character's reaction. They are alternatives, not details that must all appear together.

Telling

Mia was nervous about presenting her model.
Explanation. A concise statement. It may be enough when this is background rather than a central moment.

Action

Mia lined up her note cards, checked the first one and lined them up again when the teacher called her name.
Explanation. Repeated preparation suggests the concern without naming it.

Dialogue

"Could someone else go first?" Mia asked, keeping one hand on the model so no one could move it to the front.
Explanation. The request and the action make the reaction specific to the presentation.

Selected sensation

The card bent under Mia's thumb. She loosened her grip and tried to remember the opening sentence.
Explanation. One physical detail leads back into the task she needs to do.

Avoid replacing a label with a cliché

'Her heart pounded like a drum' can become another automatic label. Ask what the character would actually do in this scene. Protecting a model or rearranging cards tells us more about this moment than a familiar expression alone.

Replace one emotion word with an action from the scene. Then try a less obvious reaction, such as joking to hide worry or tidying the model to avoid speaking.

Choose details rather than collecting them

You do not need every sense in every scene. A sound matters when it changes what the character notices. A smell matters when it belongs to the situation. Adding unrelated sensations can make the passage crowded without making the problem clearer.

Likewise, a longer word does not automatically make a sharper description. 'The card bent' gives a concrete action. An elaborate adjective may tell the reader less.

Keep useful telling

A sentence such as 'By lunch, they had finished searching the classroom' moves past a routine stretch of time. That leaves space to develop the discovery that follows. Showing and summary have different jobs, and a readable story uses both.

Try it yourself

A character is disappointed when a promised activity is cancelled.

  1. Write the feeling as a direct telling sentence.
  2. Replace it with a specific action involving an object in the scene.
  3. Try a spoken line that suggests the reaction.
  4. Add a sentence that moves the story forward.

Check your draft

Ask a reader what feeling they infer and which detail suggests it. If they infer something different, adjust the context or action.

Common questions

Should I remove all feeling words?

No. Direct statements can be useful. Describe the important reactions through detail when that helps the reader understand them, and use summary where it keeps the story moving.

Is showing always longer than telling?

It often uses more space, but a precise action can be brief. Choose detail for its meaning rather than trying to make every sentence longer.

Can dialogue show a feeling?

Yes. What a character says, avoids saying or asks for can suggest a reaction. Give the line enough context for the reader to interpret it.

Curriculum connection

These exercises practise planning, organising and revising written ideas. Australian Curriculum English includes creating texts for an audience and grouping related information into paragraphs. TEEL, PEEL and the other planning methods are teaching aids, not compulsory curriculum formats.

QCAA: Australian Curriculum v9.0 English, Year 3

Sources and further reading

These resources provide background on the skill. The examples and practice tasks above are original.

Develop one important moment

Open writing practice and choose a reaction or decision in your narrative draft. Replace a general feeling word with an action or spoken line from that scene.

Practise writing a scene

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Examples and activities are NAPLAN Expert teaching material. Sources checked in October 2026.